Response:

I believe the verses that you are thinking of are in Luke 14:26, and Luke 10:61-62. These verses teach that God is to be the supreme Love of our lives, and that nothing else is to take precedence over His will. However, it is NOT saying that we are to hate our relatives. We know that we are to love our families. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it (Ephesian 5:25). Therefore, a husband is to sacrifice for his wife, not sacrifice his wife.

The verse in Luke is teaching that our love for the Lord should be so great that our love for our family seems like hate in comparison. Thus, we should be willing to do whatever God wants us to do, regardless of what others may say or think.

However, God will not call us to do something that is contrary to His Word. Keep this phrase in mind: "God's will is never contrary to God's Word". What does God say about marriage? It is a permanent relationship (Matt 19:5-6, I Cor 7:27). It is a relationship that is based on ONENESS (Matt 19: 5-6, Genesis 2:23-24). A man is to dwell with his wife (I Peter 3:7), and nourish and cherish her (Eph. 5:29). They are to have an ongoing physical relationship (I Cor 7:5). These principles all indicate that your husband is not to leave you in order to serve God. He should not leave the kids, either. How can he bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) if he is not around?

In I Corinthians 7, Paul states that unmarried people are able to devote themselves completely to God, whereas married people have a responsibility to their spouse (7:32-34). However, we know that it is God's plan for most people to marry (Genesis 2:18, 1:28). Therefore, God does call married people to serve the Lord. I Timothy 3:1 says that a bishop (another word for the office of the pastor) is to be the husband of one wife. Obviously, God has called married men to the ministry, but does not expect them to abandon their families. Also, it should be clear from I Cor 7:33 that Paul expected men to care for their wives.

This is not to say that there will not be occasions where your husband may be gone. He may have to go to Bible College, but he should take his family with him. If God has called, God will provide for ALL of you. Another statement I heard once goes like this: "God never orders anything that He doesn't pay for". While in college, he may have to work long hours, and not be home as much as he is now. However, that is completely different than leaving you behind.

Your husband needs to sit down with the Scriptures, and determine whether or not God wants him in the ministry. I would encourage starting with I Timothy 3, for this is where the requirements for a pastor are established. I and II Timothy, as well as Titus, are all books that were written to pastors. I would recommend reading them. God will reveal His will through His Word. We will be in prayer for you, as you pray that God will reveal Himself to you.

May the Lord bless you.

By Dr Mark Montgomery Ambassador Baptist Church 1926 Babcock Blvd Pittsburgh, PA 15209 (412)477-3210