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Ambassador Baptist Church
1926 Babcock Blvd
Pittsburgh, PA 15209
My wife who is a DEVOUT Oprah Winfrey follower and a devout believer in "being a good person gets you to heaven," Over the past nearly 13 years that I have tried to live for the Lord I have endured more persecution than I can handle. However, we are both at home right now due to unemployment, and as a result I am never any more than a few feet away from her at any given moment, plus I am virtually surrounded by determined, adamant, and in some cases psychotic heathen. I have come to the point where I have no other choice but to give up on ever being able to live a Christian life again. I have backslidden to the point where I cannot come back. There are just too many obstacles. In the past I have enjoyed all the happiness that comes with being with my fellow Christians. But for the past several weeks I have been totally and completely removed from all my fellow Christians so now I have nobody. I will always BELIEVE that Jesus is the ONLY way to Heaven, but I can no longer live the life. My only hope is that the Lord will allow me a chance to repent before my time comes.
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I do feel sorry for you and your situation. Solomon understood your condition by stating,
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman" (Pr 21:19),
"A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." (Pr 27:15).
I know that this is what you are enduring, and I am sorry.
However, I don't believe that it is the right decision for you to renounce your public Christianity. I believe that Paul addresses this issue in I Cor. 7:12-16:
"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"
It is pretty clear that Paul is addressing couples where one member is saved and the other is lost. He says several things:
- 1. Don't leave or divorce your spouse just because he/she is lost;
- 2. You may be able to bring your spouse and your children to Christ if you stay together;
- 3. If your unsaved spouse doesn't want to be with you because you are saved, let them leave.
Apparently, the reason the unsaved spouse wanted to leave was because of the saved spouse's Christianity. Paul does not tell the saved spouse to surrender his beliefs or practices, he tells them to continue to serve the Lord, and if the unsaved spouse doesn't like it then HE/SHE can leave, not the believer.
I am sure that you would like to keep your marriage together, but you can not do it by abandoning your relationship with the Lord. I'm sure you want your wife to get saved, and your children to become mature believers, but this won't happen if the only Christian influence in their lives is silenced.
If you do what is right, the Lord will provide for you. Read the following verses:
31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
II Cor 12:7-10
7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
I Peter 3:14-18
14 But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
17 For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
18 For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
II Tim. 2:12
If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us:
In your letter you say that you need to repent. If you need to repent, then repent, and change. I know this is hard, and it is easy for me to say when I am not facing your home life, but the Bible is always true. Thus, you need to choose to do what God says, and let the other chips fall where they may.
Also, you may want to let your wife know that Oprah thinks that all religions have value, and thus Oprah would not be opposed to you attending the church of your choice. She stated: "One of the mistakes that human beings make is that there is only one way to live, and that we don't accept that there are diverse ways of being in the world and there are millions of ways to be a human being and many paths to what you call God." Of course, we know that she is wrong, but if your wife wants to follow her teachings, then she should not nag you about what church you attend.
I hope that the Lord will make your life easier and change your wife for you. However, even if He doesn't, you must should do what is right. Compromise doesn't help you, your wife, or your kids.
Pastor Dr. Mark Montgomery
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Ambassador Baptist Church
1926 Babcock Blvd
Pittsburgh, PA 15209